The One About The Return
Here we are, nearly two years after my last entry and I’m still not sure what the status of “me” is, but I’ll do the best to set the record straight.
In 2016, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He fought that disease for a year before it claimed his life in 2017. Life, my mind, everything has been beyond weird, hectic and strange since then. At times, you don’t know how to go on. You don’t know how to live life. Other times you are numb to it, but almost numb to everything. It’s been a journey and a half these past few years dealing with the diagnosis and passing of my father. It’s made writing the last on my priority list and nearly impossible to figure out how to get back into the grind.
My mind is filled with memories, sadness and complexities trying to put 1 and 1 back together again to equal 2. Right now it equals more like 200, if you get my meaning.
I’ve been working my way back, to me, to everything. Figuring out the new normal. It’s a lot slower process than I expected; if I really even expected anything. Nothing prepares you for these moments in life.
With that process is a fresh coat of paint on the old website (although still using my old author photos, guess I should get those updated sometime soon). New design, new focus. Professional but having fun with it (which is pretty much me). A way of figuratively putting myself back out there. My writing, my designs back out in a new way to the public. Be kind.
In closing, I’m back, sort of. It’s still going to take sometime to get back into the grove of things. My ramblings, what I have dubbed my blog, will come whenever the moment strikes me. No real schedule to be had there. If I have an announcement, or something to say it’ll happen whenever it goes live. I’m also still going back through and updating old posts (featured images and so on) and my portfolio will always be in a state of flux. If you notice any bugs or issues with the new site, give me a shout (contact link in the header menu, right up there).
I’m hoping to open up Word again (and will probably be moving everything to private Google docs here soon) to continue work on Why We Start Fires. Before he was diagnosed my father told me he wanted the very first copy of my book once I was finished. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to complete it before he was gone. My first publication will be dedicated to him, without a doubt. No ETA’s, no missed deadlines or promises anymore. Just a “I won’t give up until it’s done” statement. It will be done, for my dad. From there, who knows. I have plenty of ideas in the ol’ notebook and plan to keep moving my way through them as life allows.
Thanks for stopping by.