“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
It seems, over and over again, that life wants to challenge you. That it wants to test you and that’s exactly what 2016 was like for me. A year in which I looked outward with great hope for what could come. To the possibility of growth as a writer, of fulfilling my dream of publication.
I think I wrote 2 paragraphs last year.
2016 had a different game-plan for me. One filled will loss, heartache, terrible news and changed realities. One were my priorities had to come back inwards, towards my family. It wasn’t an easy year and with some news we received late last year, 2017 may prove to be just as hard. A lot of soul searching, reflecting and contemplation has occurred over the past many months. Of what’s important, of what needs to be done. With how to continue.
Overall 2016 was about change. Some, for the good, some that seem split of good and bad and others that were just straight terrible. It’s in these times we find ourselves again. Find what everything really means to us, what is important to us.
My writing is still important to me. It’s been a lifelong dream to have my stories out there to be read and enjoyed. I’ve daydreamed about large publication with my books spanning the globe along with movies and television adaptations. Part of that is still there, buried in the back of my mind. Right now, I continue to ask myself does it matter if I keep writing. Trying to achieve that. With everything that has happened, I think I’ve finally realized that it does. That no matter how long and winding that road may be, how bumpy and slow that journey becomes, the important part is to never stop. My goals are not as lofty, I simply wish to finish this story. To have it told well and get it out there for people to read and hopefully enjoy.
But, my family means more. And lately, that’s had to be priority one. It will always be priority one. It’s also been priority 1-2000000 through that turbulent 2016. My mind never stops, especially when the darkness is ever present. It makes it hard to concentrate, to do what I need to. Which of course greatly affects creativity, of plotting, structure and flow. It affects everything.
At this point and time, I’m trying to find balance. Balance for what needs to be done for my family. What needs to be done to get me back to a point where I can not feel guilty about taking time to write and at the same time, be able to put out solid work.
I thank you for continuing to check in, to keep updated on how “Why We Start Fires” is progressing and I hope that someday soon, that book will be in your hands.
Be on the lookout for more as I’m able to give it out and also for a special design discount for websites. This money will go towards helping me pay for publication costs among other things.